So, I just realized that this year I will be 25, and I don't know about you but for me, adulthood was scary and it looked harsh. I think I started this identity crisis thingy since last year of college. I was living abroad and alone. I was the only child, so being alone is pretty normal for me. My dad couldn't stress enough of how I should be strong and independent. Maybe that's why I'm being so hard on myself, cause I thought I need to toughen up in order to be independent. I tend to idealized that things need to be like this and that. But what is ideal? Each person's concept of ideal is different. You can't please everybody, and that thought of idealism crushed me the most. I was having a hard time back then, stressed, anxious, and it showed. Then, acne starting to showed up. (Read my acne story here).
Well, this picture explained mostly everthanggg. Hahaha. Basically, that really happens in my head when the stress strikes in. Things will get personal after this, so bear with me. ;)
There were a lot of things going on in my head. Career, life, relationships. Back then, I had problems with pretty much everyone. I'm
the type of person whose relationships are very important. I used to think about
what others think of me A LOT! I was afraid that they might think badly
about me, etc. But like I said, you can't please everyone.
The
situation did not get any better after I graduated. I went home yes,
and shit happened. I feel broken, disappointed, betrayed, and the list went on. My
anxiety got worse this time. Instead of
let it all out, I pretended to be strong. I hold on, unable to let go.
Feeling so attached.
"Trust the wait, embrace the uncertainty. When nothing is certain, anything is possible." - Mandy Hale
I'm scared of uncertainty, I really do. Even up 'till now, thinking about it does makes my anxiety soars to its highest. However, nothing in this world is certain. What we could do is keep on trying, and let the universe conspire.
Here 10 things that I've learn during my twenty-something crisis:
Here 10 things that I've learn during my twenty-something crisis:
Nothing good in this world could happen if you don't love yourself. I know, you've heard this maybe for the bajillion times, but, there is trully nothing better than loving yourself. Nobody won't loves you if you don't love yourself.
2. You can't please everyone
Eventually you can't make everyone to loves you. Even how good you are to people, there will always somebody who dislikes you. Ignore them, never let yourself down because of someone that's not important.
3. Focus on what you love
Find your passion. You love to sing, then sing more. You love to dance, dance more. It helps you to know yourself better, as well as helping you to de-stress.
4. Surround your self with positive people
As you grow older, you will realize that your circle is getting smaller. You prioritize people. So why would you hang out with people that brings you down? It harms your personal well-being. Forget about pride, it's you that matters.
5. Build your confidence
Building confidence is not easy. I still have this problem even until now. I could only say, focus on what you are doing, surround yourself with people who loves you. Think positively. There will always be something that you can learn in every situation.
6. You can't control everything
You can't control people's feelings, you can't control the weather, you can't control the time. But you can control your emotion, you can bring the umbrella with you, and you can maximize your time to learn something new. Focus on what you can control rather stressing over things you can't control.
7. Time heals everything
It will always be okay at the end. You will eventually pass what you are going through right now. No matter how broken you are, how sad you are, those thoughts will eventually lessen with the help of time.
8. Pray, yoga, and meditate
SAY NO MORE. hahaha. just do it. trust me, it helped.
9. Don't compare, don't always look up
Who doesn't want a perfect lifestyle when you can travel, eat and buy things that you always wanted? It's great, but don't always look up. Sometimes, you need to look down to realize how your life is better than a lot of people out there.
10. Get out from your comfort zone
Get your ass off from your beloved couch might be hard, since it's comfy, and warm. However, you would never imagine what you'll find after you get up from that couch, you might found a treasure just around the block. :)
What ever life throws you, always believe that everything will be okay at the end. Remember, life is not always high, and not always low. Just keep going on.
I hope my story could relate to some of you. You're not alone.
Stay positive, and happy.
x.o.x.o
Sharleen
